I just can't CrossFit

I have a love-hate relationship with CrossFit. I LOVE the randomness and unpredictability of the workouts based on basic exercises like pushups, squats and deadlifts, and the intensity and relative short duration of the WODs (love that acronym) that are perfect for ADD people like myself.

 I HATE the fact that many of the exercises like thrusters and muscle ups require a lot of coordination and flexibility, neither of which I possess, and that you buy lots of specialized equipment that you place in your spacious garage (which I don’t have) or get membership in a pricey gym. But mostly I hate the fact that CrossFit represents a threat or rebuttal to my 25+ year focus on essentially doing the same workouts over and over.

I believe that if I can run 6-8 miles four times a week at a certain pace, and bench, curl, press and squat an amount I consider studly, than I will be ultrafit. So I have done that for years and felt content. I can bench 200 ten times and have done marathons in under 3.30 minutes. And I’m 48 goddamn years old.

I am preening as I write. But CrossFit tells me my approach is wrong. I should be doing lots of random workouts to run faster marathons or to get stronger. And I have read the articles and the case studies and they do make a little sense. Shaking it up might be better for me but here’s the rub. I’m stubborn and am afraid to change what I have done for years. What if I get slower? What if I get hurt? What if I get fatter? I can’t let go of my rainman predictability so I take the position that I am right.

But how do I prove it? How about I destroy Mike in a half and full marathon?